Taylor Swift X Kendrick Lamar – Bad Blood Review: When Two Worlds Collide

By Julian Morton 

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There is always one music video that defines a year, usually involving a cross over of the biggest female artist with the biggest male artist

Think Beyoncé’s unforgettable Crazy In Love, the wind tunnel, the 360 camera photoshoot, the car setting on fire whilst Jay-Z laughs at his own jokes whilst simultaneously checking out the future Misses Carter. Or who could possibly forget the ultimate cross over of Nicole Kidman and, every mans favourite karaoke performer turned luckiest man in the world, Robbie Williams duet of saying something stupid like agreeing to do a terrible cover of what was an insipidly wretch inducing song that reviews itself in its own title… Something Stupid.

That brings me to Taylor Swift’s Billboard Awards Premier of the outrageously ambitious collaboration with Kendrick Lamar. When I say “outrageously ambitious” I don’t mean in the same way that Anaconda was with the extreme amount of shaking backsides and a forlorn drake crying over a lap dance. Nor is it “outrageously ambitious” because the music has anything different in the mix. In fact, it’s not really that interesting of a song, it’s a couple of chorus’s of Taylor Swift rhyming Blood with other words that sound like Blood, Kendrick Lamar filling in verses 1 & 2 to a pop-trap beat and T.S coming in with a sweetly ickle teenage girl delivery on the bridge before rounding it off with a repeat of the chorus twice and there’s a top ten hit for you right there.

In fact, if anything, it’s outrageously expensive. The video is a massive fake advert for a gender reversed expendables/sin city movie directed by Not Zach Snyder (Joseph Kahn) and staring T.S with her dream team of Ellie Goulding with a rocket launcher, Cindy Crawford acknowledging the existence of Taylor Swift and Jessica Alba picking up a paycheque fighting against a Selena Gomez trying and failing to seem threatening.

It’s entertaining to look at for a few “Wait a minute, is that what’s their face?” moments but this is just shallow beyond belief. And that’s a shame because 12 years ago Beyoncé and Jay-Z, no matter what you think of their respective back-catalogue, came together to produce something memorable. I feel like I need a few weeks of therapy to get over the blandness of this entire experience.

Please, for your own sake, put on To Pimp A Butterfly by Kendrick and remember that record exists whilst subjecting yourself to the cleanest piece of garbage since Somethin’ Stupid.

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