The Briefcase Speaks: Reports From This Week In WWE

By Chirag Uphadhyay

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Bray Wyatt, the eater of words, by which he means he likes to eat alphabet soup (who doesn’t) called out the Undertaker on WWE TV this week. This is terrible news for Taker fans because this is the END. Brock took the streak. Bray takes the torch. Taker takes the loss.

Triple H announces, ‘Next goal wins.’

The ire of IWC fans turned heads once more in corporate Connecticut. After Roman Reigns got booed out of the building as the Royal Rumble winner, Triple H made ‘The Announcement’ at Raw this week. He stripped Reigns of his right to headline WrestleMania, making the Royal Rumble event null and void (blaming interference by The Rock). Thanks guys for charging me to see that.

Bryan came out asking for his name to be put in the hat. He cited the fact he never lost the WWE title and had not received his rematch: The Orton Echo. Rollins interfered asking for the same chance. A match was made between Crossfit Jesus and leader of the Yes! Movement, with the winner to face Reigns at Fast Lane for the right to main event at the show of shows. Bryan won. YES! YES! YES!

Yes Movement does it again…

Yes! Yes! Yes! We got Daniel Bryan the chance to face Reigns at Fast Lane so he can take a clean loss and put Roman over by putting on a great match and then follow that up by shaking the hand that superman punched him in his goat face a few minutes ago. Yes! Yes! Yes!

The Fast Lane Sting

Sting won’t fight Triple H until WrestleMania. But you’ll all tune in to see him standing at the top of the ramp and be mesmerised. That’s because Sting will do that to you.

Cena threatens to bury NXT

My Hustle Loyalty Respect alluded that Triple H was ready to replace him with members of his NXT roster, such as Sami Zayn, Adrian Neville and Finn Balor. Cena, however, said he wasn’t going to go without a fight, telling the Universe he had his shovel ready.

Post WrestleMania, with a new top face (Reigns) it’s easy to see Cena taking on NXT wrestlers, each trying to make the main roster, in one on one matches. And it’s just possible he will lose again and again, and it’s just possible he may turn heel, and it’s just possible he will align with Vince McMahon to take on Triple H, who is conducting a coup d’etat against his father-in-law.

This would be fantasy armchair booking but knowing the WWE Universe, they’ll be upset Daniel Bryan isn’t involved, and make a fuss and stifle creative, again.

Stone Cold Steve Austin (SCSA) Podcast

Triple H isn’t the doofus CM Punk said he was in that infamous pipe bomb. Triple H told SCSA he listens to the IWC. He wants longer storylines. He wants unscripted promos. With Triple H at the fore in the years ahead we could see a truly great product.

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